(Richmond Times-Dispatch, 05-19-09)
A. Barton Hinkle is the deputy editor of the Editorial Pages. Contact him at (804) 649-6627 or bhinkle@timesdispatch.com.

Preamble
We the People of the United States, I, Barack Obama, in Order to form a more perfect Union, establish Justice, insure domestic Tranquility, provide for the common defence, and promote the general Welfare, and secure the Blessings of Liberty to ourselves and our Posterity, do ordain and establish this revised Constitution for the United States of America.

Article I
All legislative Powers herein granted shall be vested in a Congress of the United States, at least for the sake of appearances.

Article II
Section 1
The executive Power shall be vested in a President of the United States of America.
Section 2
Woe betide any Person who dare suggest the preceding Section shall be interpreted to mean “the limited Power to carry out the Laws passed by Congress” and not “the unbounded Prerogative to do whastoever the Current Holder of the Executive Office may please.”
Section 3
The President shall be Commander in Chief of the Army and Navy of the United States, and of the Militia of the several States.
Any Citizen of the several States who professes by Word or Sign to believe in the concept of armed Citizen-Militias shall be deemed a Far-Right Extremist and potential Terrorist, reported to the Department of Homeland Security, placed on a Watch List, and subjected to Surveillance and Monitoring.
The President shall have the Power to hinder and obstruct Inquiries about federal Surveillance of the Citizenry by invoking the State Secrets Doctrine.
He shall have the Power to forestall Inquires about the State Secrets Doctrine by invoking the Double-Secret, Super-Duper Probation Doctrine.
The President shall have the Power to designate Alleged Enemy Combatants; to order their extraordinary Rendition to torture in Foreign Lands; to appoint Military Commissions and Combatant Status Review Tribunals for the Purpose of finding them Guilty; and to confine them without charge on Military Bases outside the contiguous territory of the Continental United States.
The President shall have the Power, by and with the Advice and Consent of the Senate, to appoint Judges of the supreme Court — providing that same shall demonstrate fidelity to the well-known Empathy Clause elsewhere in this Constitution, and to the equally well-known and even more important Recognize-What-It’s-Like-to-Be-a-Teenage-Mom Clause.

Section 4
Every Bill which shall have passed the House of Representatives and the Senate, shall, before it become a Law, be presented to the President of the United States; If he approve he shall sign it, but if not he shall return it, with his Objections to that House in which it shall have originated.
If he deem a Bill politically popular, but Injurious to his Plans and Designs, the President may append to it a Signing Statement identifying those portions of the Bill he intends to Execute according to his Oath, as well as those portions he intends to Ignore as befits his Whim.

Section 5
The President shall have the power to set wages and salaries in the banking industry.
He shall have the Power to Appoint an Automobile Czar to direct the Management of the American automobile Industry.
He shall have the Power to intercede in Bankruptcy proceedings, and to disregard existing Bankruptcy Law by granting unsecured Creditors in major U.S. automobile manufacturers precedence over secured creditors, the better to reward his political cronies in the UAW.
He shall have the Power to threaten secured Creditors that oppose such arrangments with Public Humiliation, by setting the lapdogs of the White House Press Corps upon them.

Section 6
The President shall have the power to distribute Federal Stimulus Money for the purpose of weatherizing the Homes of the Citizens against Leaks and Drafts, that their Domiciles may better ward off the Rayne and Snow, and retain within their Confines the Warmth of their Stoves and Hearths.
He shall have the Power to Decree Carbon-based Sources of Energy an Enemy of the People, and to direct his Agencies and Departments to discourage their Use, by various Incentives and Strategems.
He shall have the Power to reconfigure the nation’s Health Care System, because nobody else is smart and wise enough to care for the Sick.
He shall have the Power to Instruct the Citizens as to the Type of Light Bulb that they shall purchase.
He shall have the Power to inform them as to the amount of Salt they should consume at Mealtimes.
He shall have the Power to dictate the average number of Miles per Gallon their Horseless Carriages should Attain, both within their Towns and Villages, and upon the nation’s four-lane divided Concourses.
He shall have the Power to stipulate the number of Gallons of Water their Privvies may use to send their Bodily Wastes down to Cloacina.
He shall have the Power to, you know, “spread the wealth around.”
He shall have the Power to Direct his Agencies and Commissions to Issue
such Edicts and Commandments as may
occur to him at diverse Times and Places
for the people’s Betterment and Own Good.

Section 7
This Document is subject to Change without Notice.

If we could read the secret history of our enemies, we should find in each man’s life sorrow and suffering enough to disarm all hostility.
— Henry Wadsworth Longfellow.

By Chris Cowperthwaite
NBC17

Dozens of lawmakers gathered at the Legislative Building in Raleigh Tuesday afternoon to announce the introduction of the “Defense of Marriage Act.”

If passed, the bill would put a proposed constitutional amendment on the ballot for November’s election: “Marriage between a man and a woman is the only domestic legal union that shall be valid or recognized in this State.”

Sponsors were joined by various Christian leaders from around the state along with groups like the NC Family Policy Council and the Christian Action League.

“It is time for our lawmakers to give the citizens of North Carolina the same opportunity enjoyed by 30 other states: the chance to vote on a marriage protection amendment,” said Tammy Fitzgerald, Executive Director of NC4Marriage.

The legislation has already been filed in the State Senate, and supporters expect it to file it in the State House within a few days.

“I’ve introduced this bill five different times, and have yet to have it heard in committee,” said state Sen. Jim Forrester, a republican from Gaston.

Several opponents to the bill also showed up for the news conference.

“I think it is discriminatory and against people’s civil rights.  And we don’t need it in North Carolina,” said Theodore Mayer, a Raleigh man who has a gay son.  “The statutes already define a marriage between a man and a woman.  That’s by law right now.”

General Statute 51-1.2 states “Marriages, whether created by common law, contracted, or performed outside of North Carolina, between individuals of the same gender are not valid in North Carolina.”

Supporters of the bill say they want to strengthen the current rules, saying that statute could be overturned through a lawsuit.

According to sponsors of the bill, it is a moral imperative.

“A marriage amendment to the constitution for North Carolina will protect our children and grandchildren.  It protects them from being taught in the public schools that same-sex marriage is the same as traditional marriage,” said Forrester.  “It protects children from being raised in unhealthy families.”

The moral and biblical arguments for the bill have already angered opponents.

“You know that saying: ‘What would Jesus do?’  I think He’d be crying right now.  I honestly do,” said Ana McKee, a Durham woman who has a gay son. 

She contended that the bill is hypocritical, since thousands of people get divorced every year.

“If you want to protect marriage, then why don’t you send people that are going to get married to premarital classes so they learn how to communicate and learn if they’re compatible,” said McKee.  “You want to take care of marriage, that’s the kind of thing you need to do.”

North Carolina is the only state south of Washington D.C. and east of New Mexico that does not currently have a similar amendment; supporters say that makes the state a “target” for gay rights activists.

Many familiar rites of a presidential inauguration come not from the U.S. Constitution but from the precedent set by the first president, George Washington.

Article II, Section 1 of the Constitution says nothing about the inaugural ceremony, other than specifying the oath of office:

“Before he enter on the execution of his office, he shall take the following oath or affirmation: ‘I do solemnly swear (or affirm) that I will faithfully execute the office of president of the United States, and will to the best of my ability preserve, protect and defend the Constitution of the United States.’ ”

In George Washington’s first inauguration on April 30, 1789, “we see the pattern that is set for all inaugurations ever since,” said Marvin Kranz, a historical specialist in the manuscript division at the Library of Congress.

Kranz narrated presentations on 12 of the inaugurations from Washington to Theodore Roosevelt as part of “I Do Solemnly Swear,” an online exhibit by the Library of Congress.

Kranz notes that Washington chose to take the oath with his hand on a Bible and set the precedent of delivering an inaugural address. Washington also added the phrase “so help me God” after taking the oath.

The first inaugural ball commemorated Washington’s presidency.

Kranz notes that on March 4, 1801, the third president, Thomas Jefferson, set another precedent, using his inaugural address to ease the peaceful transfer of power between political parties.

Of the nation’s 43 presidents, two — Franklin Pierce and Herbert Hoover — chose to “solemnly affirm” rather than “solemnly swear” while taking the oath.

With the exception of inaugurations that followed presidents who died in office, all inaugurations between 1793 and 1933 were on March 4 except for four that occurred on March 5 because March 4 fell on a Sunday.
That changed with the 20th Amendment, ratified in 1933. Beginning with Franklin Roosevelt’s second inauguration in 1937, presidents have been inaugurated on Jan. 20, minimizing the “lame-duck” session of Congress.

WASHINGTON – Asked by a third-grader what a vice president does, Republican candidate Sarah Palin responded that the vice president is the president’s “team mate” but also “runs the Senate” and “can really get in there with the senators and make a lot of good policy changes.”

While aimed at a typical 8-year-old, Palin’s explanations oversimplify the Constitution’s definition of the duties of the vice president and don’t match the office’s traditional role in Senate activities.

The vice president’s main duty is to replace the president if the president dies, resigns, is removed from office or can no longer carry out his or her duties for other reasons. The Constitution names the vice president as the president of the Senate but allows the vice president to cast a vote only to break a tie.

The vice president, as a member of the executive branch of the government, has no official role in developing legislation or determining how it is presented to or debated by the Senate, which is part of the legislative branch. In all meaningful ways, the leader of the majority party runs the Senate.

Traditionally, the vice president appears in the Senate for ceremonial events and in case of a tie vote. Although the vice president can preside over the Senate, vice presidents have left that day-to-day chore to senators themselves. In the past, each president has determined the role of the vice president in an administration.
  
The subject of the vice president’s duties came up as Palin sat for an interview with KUSA-TV in Denver, which has a feature called “Question from the Third Grade.” The interviewer asked, “Brandon Garcia wants to know, ‘What does the vice president do?”‘

“That’s a great question, Brandon, and a vice president has a really great job, because not only are they there to support the president’s agenda, they’re like the team member, the team mate to that president,” Palin said.

“But also, they’re in charge of the United States Senate, so if they want to they can really get in there with the senators and make a lot of good policy changes that will make life better for Brandon and his family and his classroom. And it’s a great job and I look forward to having that job,” she said.